Learning to let it go

When God has presented a lesson three times, I need to “learn”. First the test, then the lesson. While on our recent fishing trip, I hooked a big catfish, or it hooked me. After it secured itself around a stump, my husband and I struggled for 30 minutes to claim my bragging rights. It was not to be and I was finally ready to give it up. I told him to cut the line, that is the lesson. Two days later, there were two more hooked catfish that I never could pull up to the surface, so the battle again because I was still not so willing to ‘let it go’. The first of the two, I pulled for about 15 minutes, then let Joe cut the line. The next one, again headed for the stump and this time I knew, cut the line. That is a life lesson. Know when it is time to let something go. Children, grief, anger, emotional eating, relationships and labels that can hold one back from accomplishments. Eating is in the list for a reason. Although food sustains life, I eat for more than the purpose of sustaining life, so that is a dependency that needs to be “cut”.

When I let go of my girls, they found their way and did just fine with me on the sidelines of life. They were able to become what God needed them to be, they were never mine, they are God’s. There have been losses to death, employment and relationships. While carrying my grief and the weight of unhealthy relationships, I ran and grew weary, I could not climb on to the wings of the eagle God sent my way (Isaiah 40:31). I have been tethered to the things of life, secured to a dead stump. One has to learn to let go, because we are God’s. We can not be in control, and that is what led me to my anger, shame, disappointments, guilt, dependency on others and emotional eating. Specialty emotional eating, chocolate for anger and Mexican food for depression. So I am learning to let go of those unhealthy relationships, learning to forgive (still pulling on that line a little) and moving on. I know I have to cut the lines that keep me tied to things of this life: possessions, memories, people who do not need to be in my life and emotions that are my mountains.

I am a survivor of breast cancer and as God’s child, I have a ministry (1 Cor. 12:9) and I will be less valuable while clinging to the lines of earthly entanglements. I have to use my faith, the verb, and let go. All of this from a fish. It was just a fish, but Jesus used a fish to feed the multitude!

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